• Do you keep setting goals that you can’t seem to reach? Have you ever wondered why you don’t seem to be able to achieve them? Maybe you should ask yourself a couple of questions.

    1. Whose goal is it, really? Are you setting a certain goal just because you think you should? Because your parents want you to? Because society says that’s what a successful person does? Because your church mandates it? Because your boss thinks it’s a good idea? Because it would make your spouse happy?
    2. Why are you choosing this goal? Is it in competition, to one-up a friend or relative? Is it out of fear that you won’t be a good person, a worthy person, a successful person, a (fill in the blank) person if you don’t? Are you doing it just so you won’t disappoint someone or because you are not really sure what to do, and this seems like as good a goal as any?

    Real, achievable goals come from the heart, from your soul.  Actually, you don’t choose them; they choose you. These are the types of goals that give us great joy and profound satisfaction, that give our lives deep meaning. Most people, however, are never taught this. We are taught to listen to everyone but ourselves. Often, we are even warned against listening to our own inner knowing. We may have been so frightened away from our own wisdom that we no longer know how to hear it, but it is possible.  Absolutely.

    Choosing heart-felt goals doesn’t mean that we don’t have to work to achieve them, but the energy to act, the will to achieve, comes from a different place inside us. We are magnetized to these goals, pulled along by our true desire, by our innate longings. In contrast, goals based on shoulds and oughts, on the will and prescriptions of others, are hard won. We have to grit our teeth and push through, and maybe we can force ourselves to the finish line. These types of goals wear us out and tear us down. We often just quit under the burden.

    The good news is, there’s nothing wrong with us.  We aren’t underachievers. We just need to honor ourselves and respect the true callings on our lives.  This frees up our life energy, and we can direct it in ways that truly benefit us. Then, life becomes an adventure, not just something to endure.